"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven..." (Ecclesiastes 3:1) I was working on a Bible Study that I have to prepare for Sunday night over Maintaining and Balancing Priorities in our lives. What a horrific subject to tackle of all the weeks to have to tackle it. My priorities while important and well placed this week are not what they are during what I would consider a "normal" week. The thought of telling other people how that they need to work on balance in their lives is just laughable to me right now. But... I know God put me in this place right now for a reason, definitely not to tell others how to do things but maybe so I can learn something from others because I quickly realized that all the questions I was to ask as the leader were void of answers for me!

One thing that struck me quick to the heart though was when the author said this, "Therefore, although we cannot know God's eternal plan, the future, or exactly what God is doing in the present, we can discover to some extent what "time" it now is and respond accordingly. Because God has made a time for everything, we should examine each situation to discover what time it represents in God's plan. Then, when we discern what's suitable for that moment, we should do what is right for the time."

I was near panic attack stage last week thinking about what it is that God wanted me to do next. I kept thinking I have 15 days to get another job... I have 14 days to get another job... I have 13 days to get another job... and so on and so forth. I was absolutely panicking and not sleeping come Saturday night/Sunday afternoon. I talked over with my best friend Anna for an hour and we talked through alot of what I was thinking. I decided with no clear cut direction from God and nothing just really grabbing and exciting me like I wanted it to that I was going to just take some time off from the work force and enjoy this last year or two with Max before he goes off to school. It is a huge decision, one that I still question at times. Will we be all right without the extra income? It feels like we are constantly falling half a step behind every month, will God bless this decision for us? We are taking a leap in faith and trusting God. Right now in this time, it is what is suitable for us. Does this mean I will never work again? Not necessarily... does this mean that the day Max starts Kindergarten I will start a full time job? Not necessarily, but for right now, this is what God is calling me to do in this season.

I am so tired, so worn out but I so desire to be there for Dave to finish out strong. I put in 34 hours this week. I have not worked that many hours in a week for 9 years and a lot has changed because last time I worked that many hours I had a lot less responsibility at home. I may be a wuss or something but I am not cut out for working full time and taking care of my family, it is just not something I can physically nor mentally do right now. I am so glad God is not asking me to do it.

So with one week left I am working my little fingers hard. My fingernails feel like they are going to fall right off from constant peeling of PSL's over the last week. If I never see another PSL again, it will be too soon! I have done about 48 pages this week which does not feel like very many but I guess it IS over 10% of the returns. I just see what others are able to accomplish and feel like I should be able to push myself even harder. I guess I am too competitive for my own good!

Well, I am off to bed, I have to be at church early and then I want to put in about 4 hours at work before I head back to church to lead Bible Study. Have a great Sunday all!